FACT: Women Want to Be Sexually Objectified and Degraded

Posted on 2009/06/23 in This Is Why Things Are the Way They Are

Women are beautiful, intelligent, cunning, and more than happy to have their hair pulled tight as they’re plowed in the ass by a man who they probably just met and have no real emotional attachment toward. Objectification and degradation is part of the female mystique, and even the most stalwart feminist secretly wants to be choked, slapped, and fucked like a dirty, gutter-dwelling whore. It’s the filthy little secret that the fairer sex tries so hard to hide because, in public view, they want to assert themselves as dignified and high-minded, but once you slap them in the face with your cock behind closed doors they turn into primal turbo-sluts with no morals, no inhibitions, and no holes left off limits.

However, men should not look down on women because of these perverted proclivities and, after all, every dude wants a dirty slut that’ll suck his balls and graciously accept a big load of testicle tar-tar on their face after an epic ass-fucking for the ages.  This depraved behavior should be praised, promoted, and women should know that it’s ok to be an absolute and utter freak that enjoys the kind of sex that makes it hard to make eye contact with your partner the next morning.  Still, there are women who feel having their pooper plundered like New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina is embarrassing, and having semen shot into their gagging throat is downright vile.

Luckily, there are exemplary whores like Faye Runaway that can lead the way for all of womanhood into the dark depths of sexual corruption.  For this post, Faye Runaway represents the average woman.  Not bad looking, but not a supermodel.  Not super intelligent, but certainly not a idiot.  Faye probably has a bachelors degree in something generic and useless like business administration or developmental psychology, and works a job that’s totally unrelated to her schooling.  In pretty much all facets of her life, Faye Runaway is average, but out of the public view and behind closed doors (preferably with a camera running), she’s a slutty superstar that puts most women to shame!

Force your cock into her mouth until she gags and pukes! Jam your raging tool into her sweet pussy until you’re slamming her cervix like a screen door on a windy day! Shove your dick into her tight asshole and choke her neck as she moans and groans! She loves it all, and she’ll even wear your cum like a badge of slimy honor. And if you ever get bored, turn her into a board game and invite your friends over to play! She’s a dirty girl that wants to be used and abused, just like every other woman out there.

Women, don’t be afraid to be whores.  We want you to be whores.  You want you to be whores.  With a mutual understanding and ample lubrication, maybe, just maybe, we can make the world a better place.

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Black Shemales are Like Women Except They Have Huge Chocolate Cocks

Posted on 2009/06/22 in Pornography is a Reason for Living

We all know how the story goes: you’re trolling Craigslist and looking for a sweet piece of chocolate pussy to sink your below-average sized cock into and you come across a listing for a “tall and leggy fox that’s willing to do anything”.  You get in touch, tell her to swing by for a little game of “hide the sausage” and you pray to whatever deity you can invoke that she isn’t shockingly fat.  But much to your initial delight you see a tall and leggy fox standing your doorway with that “come hither” look that excites your senses and your wang.  So you invite her in and tear your clothes off like they’re on fire, which is a move that would make most women second-guess ever ringing your doorbell in the first place.  This sexy chocolate chick sticks around though, and grabs your dick like it’s a joystick and she’s buying in for a game of Arkanoid.

Pretty soon she’s sucking your dick like it’ll shoot out high-limit credit cards and shoes, and you’re thinking you’ve somehow, against all odds, attracted the fuckbuddy of your dreams… until she takes her clothes off.  Next thing you know, there’s a thick shemale cock pushing against your lips, and you sit there horrified both by your own personal Crying Game and the odd, growing impluse to open your mouth. Now this Black shemale is using you like her own personal bottom bitch, teaching you how to deepthroat a thick dick, and pulling out an economy-sized tub of Astroglide and wrestling with the wrapper of a Magnum condom. In the midst of the unexpected facefucking from a sexy Black shemale, you fall into an almost Zen-like, fugue state where all of a sudden you’re a happy black tranny fucker.

Sure you’re getting fucked in the ass by what used to be a African-American man, but in your mind you start to debate the definition of gender. “Really, what is a male? What is a female? Is she still a man even though she’s got a cock? Maybe I’ll have to adjust my personal beliefs so I don’t feel like a pole-smoking fag…” Your rectum is shaking like Michael J. Fox as it’s invaded, over and over again, by a throbbing black shemale cock. I mean your new friend is going for it and digging tunnels in your ass like she’s searching for oil. Really, she’s just pounding your saggy White butt-cheeks like she’s getting revenge for slavery and your great-grandparents were overseers. Maybe you’re enjoying it, or maybe you blacked out 20 minutes ago from the indignity, but either way you’re going to get blasted with the man-goo of an ex-man.

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Sarah Palin’s Braindead Sycophants Told Me David Letterman Is a Rapist

Posted on 2009/06/18 in Dumb Stupidity of Moronic Imbeciles

So apparently David Letterman made a joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin who is 18 and has already popped out a kid.  The joke, and I quote, was, “One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game: during the 7th inning her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”  In response, Sarah Palin said, and again I quote, “Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 63 year old male celebrity aimed at a 14 year old girl is disgusting.”

Of course any reasonable individual would assume that Mr. Letterman was referring to Bristol Palin, you know, the one who’s already popped out a fucking kid at such a young and tender age (unmarried, of course, and from a “traditional” family that preaches abstinence).  Much to the collective chagrin of Americans with intelligence quotients above room temperature, Sarah Palin is not a reasonable individual, but instead an opportunistic political whore.  In a move so deft and damaging it should be taught in self-defense classes, she chose to cast dispersions upon Mr. Letterman by essentially accusing him of being a pervert who jokes about underage fucking.

Now there are advertisers threatening to, or actually pulling their revenue from CBS in response to the small clutch of protestors who are so desperate to feel the paltry rush of endorphins that comes with undertaking a faux-cause along with their know-nothing kin.  You know, the kind of people that put the “jerk” in knee-jerk.

It’s a pitiful display to see my fellow citizens reacting to a non-controversy with non-intelligence.  It’s almost as if their lives have become so desolate and desperate that the faintest smell of gunpowder makes them run to grab their matches.  With no real hobbies, no real interests, and no real common sense, these dazed automatons stumble and groan toward the slightest bit of outrage like freshly risen zombies, only their chants of “BRAINSSSSS” are laments of what they’ve lost rather than requests for food.

These are the same people who twitter about buying little sweaters for their pets, who measure their neighbor’s grass to make sure it’s not taller than their housing association’s limits, and who will turn a fight over a parking space into an epic Spartan battle to the death.  They’re the same people that can be lured in front of a firing squad with a sales pitch of “Free lead while supplies last!”, and they’re the same people that will try and sue the makers of the firing squad’s rifles afterward.

Unfortunately, they’re catered to time and time again by celebrities, politicians, or any other public entity that is absolutely terrified of losing even one fan, one constituent, or one customer.  I can only pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster of Love and Compassion that one day the effete majority of logical and intelligent Americans, from top to bottom, will sit these proverbial dunces in the corner until they come to their better senses, kow-towers included.

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The Cause of the Global Recession Revealed: Dumb Teen Whores

Posted on 2009/06/17 in This Is Why Things Are the Way They Are

In the early 19th century, America was well into the glorious Industrial Revolution, our nations ascendancy into a production-based economy that was driven by high-quality and low cost goods.  Most notably during this period, there was strong economic growth and a distinct lack of shortsighted whores snapping amateur self-pics with primitive plate cameras.  As time went by America shifted to a service-based economy and opted to import consumer goods — mostly cheap consumer electronics — from Asian countries.  As dumb teen whores began to purchase Polaroid cameras and share pictures of themselves half-nude, naked, or possibly sucking a cock, America experienced a severe depression in the 1980’s.

A similar phenomenon occurred when the dot-com bubble burst in 1999, a period where, arguably, social media began to take shape and dumb teen whores had an exceptional medium through which to share lewd pictures of themselves.  Now in the first decade of the millennium we’re beginning to see history repeat itself.  We have an unprecedented level of dumb teen whores with digital cameras and camera phones, an unprecedented level of sites through which they can share these photos, and an unprecedented lack of foresight that will ultimately dissolve any career opportunities they pursue.  Well, career opportunities that don’t involve vacuuming donkey dicks on or off camera.    In light of this compelling evidence, we must ask, “How can dumb teen whores who share incriminating photographs tank the global economy?”

In order to understand how dumb teen whores with digital cameras can sink the world into an international depression like a warship’s anchor in a shallow bay, we need to understand the psyche and habits of the dumb teen whores  themselves.

A dumb teen whore is characterized as a physically attractive and sexually liberated female, traditionally between the ages of 18 and 20, who is computer literate and severely lacking in foresight or good judgment.  As beneficiaries of, but ignorant to, the gains of women’s liberation movements and feminist ideas, these vapid holes wear their sexuality like guidos wear low-cut V-neck shirts.  Whether their pictures are taken self-shot, self-shot in the mirror, or shot-by-friend, they’re inevitably shared online by the dumb teen whore or their bitter ex-boyfriends.

But what they lack in general intelligence and obliviousness to the fact that anything put on the Internet stays on the Internet forever, they make up for in awesome rockin’ tits.  I mean really, really sweet tits.  More to the point, they produce a steady stream of fap material that is as hot as it is bountiful and accessible.

It is this supply of amateur porn that is the key to understanding why dumb teen whores can, and will, destroy our economy. Traditionally, men worked hard to create a stable income that could buy nice things that would attract the attention of the girl next door.  This work ethic, motivated by the drastic desire to stick your dick into your hot neighbor, kept the assembly line moving, the customer line moving, and overall, the economy moving.

Today, that mystique, wonderment, and desire quickly evaporates when the average worker learns that he can get compromising pictures of that girl next door simply through asking, sexting, or amateur porn sites.  Suddenly the desire to earn money or honor our debts evaporates.  Our reason to be productive diminishes one blurry picture at a time, and soon Western countries will be buried under a pile of debt and crusty spankerchiefs.

We may all be tumbling toward a reduced standard of living at break-neck speeds, but take heart in knowing that our final destination will have, nay, will be filled with pole-puffing dumb teen whores that will spread their legs as our socialist government spreads the wealth.  If the fall of the economy will lead to a fantastic opulence of pussy, then burn motherfucker burn!

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “Any society that would give up a little pussy to gain a little wealth will deserve neither and lose both.”

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